Boundary Setting for People Pleasers

A 4-Session Mini-Intensive
with Dr. Yvette Erasmus

Reclaim your “no”
Stay true to your values
Speak your truth with love
Live with dignity and self-respect

Do you … 

  • Tend to put others first?
  • Struggle to express your needs? (Or struggle to even know what you need?)
  • Worry that setting a boundary will jeopardize your relationship?
  • End up taking on more than you want and then feeling resentful?
  • Stop yourself from saying something because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings?
  • Worry that people won’t like you if you say no?
  • Wish you could set and enforce your boundaries without so much force or resentment?
  • Tend to be wishy-washy about what you really want and need?

This course is currently being updated.

Join the waiting list, and we’ll notify you as soon as registration opens.

 

“The way in which Yvette can help you keenly understand what is at stake and at play and then help each person communicate their needs in a way that the other person can hear is remarkable and life-changing.”  –JL Lyons, workshop participant

This workshop covers …

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How to respond positively, even when you’re angry

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How to respect your own needs

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How to neutralize your default impulse to say yes to others

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How to stop being controlled by others’ feelings and thoughts

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How to set boundaries while maintaining connection with others

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How to say no – and what to say no to!

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How to ask for what you want

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How to recognize when there is a boundary issue and make a proactive plan

Session One

You’ll get everything you need to understand about what a boundary is (and isn’t) in the first place.

You’ll figure out your personal “property lines” and get tools to calibrate your “yes/no” inner compass.

We’ll also spend time getting crystal clear about what you are and are not responsible for.

Session Two

To set proactive and preventative boundaries, you need to know what your needs and values are and where your limits lie.

During this session, you’ll get clear about what you stand for, what you do and don’t welcome into your life.

You’ll leave this session with a clearly defined personal self-care landscape that will set you up for clear, courageous, and conscious limit-setting in your relationships.

Session Three

Setting Boundaries is about speaking truth with love.

In this session you’ll get step-by-step formulas for what to include and exclude and what to say and not say when you’re setting a boundary or expressing a limit with someone.

You’ll leave with new scripts for some old, stuck situations.

Session Four

Enforcing our boundaries once we’ve set them can be derailed by two things: guilt and boundary pushers.

We will workshop what to do when someone insists on pushing your boundary or trespasses into your space again and again.

You’ll also leave with helpful ways of working with guilt or self-doubt that might arise along the way.

A Note from Yvette … 

As a clinical psychologist, teacher, writer, and consultant, I’ve been offering therapy, education, non-violent communication, and human development training for over 25 years. 

One of the most universal struggles that I see in all of my work, is the inner conflict that so many of us feel between being true to our authentic selves, and keeping the peace with those around us.  

Empathic, open-hearted people who want to make the world a better place often struggle to look after themselves or to set the well-being boundaries that they deserve. They over-work, they over-give, they extend themselves endlessly, and they burn out.

I know because I’ve been there, and this has been my own struggle.

Years ago, I immersed myself in the study of nonviolent communication, and focused on deepening my compassion and empathy skills.  

However, my single-minded focus on connecting and empathizing with others left me vulnerable and undefended in situations where I really needed more self-protection.  

Connection is wonderful, but we also need to be skilled at self-protection.  

To truly embody a nonviolent, compassion practice, we really need to include ourselves in our circle of care and protection, and for people-pleasers this can be especially difficult.

However, when we’re unable to connect to our own needs, ask for what we want, and honor our intrinsic limits and preferences without making others “wrong,” we default to setting forceful and self-sabotaging boundaries out of desperation.  

I developed this course because boundaries are meant to deepen trust and a sense of connection in our relationships.

I want to help you figure out where your internal boundaries are, what are your “deal-breakers,” and how to talk about these internal boundaries long before they come painful issues in your relationships.  

Self-love, self-respect, and self-care are not selfish; they are essential to interdependence and intimacy.  

“My biggest struggle was communicating honestly in ways that wouldn’t trigger defensiveness in others, especially when addressing tough issues, like race or power dynamics, where shame can often play out. I wanted to be able to express myself in ways that lead to connection. Working with Yvette has been transformational. Even the relationships in my life that were working well have grown more satisfying and joyful.“  –W. Morris, workshop participant

Frequently Asked Questions

Will I be able to ask questions during the program, and is it interactive?

YES!

You are encouraged to participate in the calls. Our goal is to make this as interactive and personal as possible. All calls will be live, and you’ll have opportunities to ask questions (time-permitting). You can also post questions on your private course page in advance, and I will review those and select the most universally relevant situations to address during the workshop. 

What time are the live calls?

Note all calls will be recorded and you can access and download them in your private course page.

When the next live workshop is scheduled, call times will be posted on this page and emailed to those on the waitlist. 

What if I miss a session or can't make the time?

All of the sessions will be recorded and you’ll have lifetime access to them through the private course page. (And the replays are a useful resource for reviewing the course material in your own time as often as you like.)

Each session will be an hour long, with an additional 30 minutes of Q&A offered as optional.

What is the format of the live calls?

Each session will provide an hour of teaching with followed by 30 minutes of Q&A and discussion.

What materials are included?

The slides and worksheets are made available to participants to download, and most participants take notes during the teaching segment.

The worksheets offer exercises for determining your self-care landscape, identifing your own boundaries, scripting out an “Empowered No,” and strategizing for what to do when you get difficult responses from others.

You’ll also have checklists for healthy boundaries and unhealthy boundaries and scripts for what boundaries might sound like in various areas of life.

Sign up for this course if you would like to …

  • Be comfortable and confident both hearing and saying NO.
  • Let go of feeling overly responsible for others’ feelings; let go of always feeling a need to please them. 
  • Communicate your needs and boundaries in a clear, confident, unfaltering way that actually enhances and strengthens your relationships.
  • Let go of the guilt you feel when you stay true to yourself and someone else is upset about it.
  • Stand up for and defend yourself and your decisions using collaborative, clear language.
  • Get practical scripts and a step-by-step process to navigate boundaries with more ease and connection.

Join the waiting list!

This course is currently being updated. Join the waiting list, and we’ll notify you as soon as registration opens.

 

Already signed up?

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